Monday, January 30, 2012

Forbidden Happiness

I had a day out of this world today! Things were going my way all day!

I woke up with my usual aches and pains. The first few minutes were actually really rough, I remember thinking my arms were unusually weak & the bottoms of my feet were the normal, "walking" "few inches at a time". Then suddenly, I felt full of energy, not as stiff, less pain & generally just very light, full of life, hope & excitement about the day. I was moving a little faster, and actually managed to make lil' one his sandwich for school. And open the fridge door without much effort! I felt strange about this sudden change!

I went along with my morning, took lil' one to school, came back, walked the stairs & thought to myself, hmmm!, what's going on today! I walked the stairs, and it didn't feel as bad as it usually does. I made breakfast, watched the Kardashians season finale (my very first season I've ever actually watched, my favorite by far is Scott, I like his quirky sense of humor :)) and I still felt the good vibes and unusual energetic feeling. So I turned off the tv, called my OB/GYN to make an appointment for a check-up. It usually takes 3-4 weeks to get an appointment with him! This time I got an appointment for Feb. 8! (I felt lucky & this inspired me further!). Then I drove to my GP's office to request copies of my allergy test results & to make an appointment to get my blood work done. Got that for tomorrow & I'll be getting my allergist records soon as well!

Then I went to the grocery store, or supermarket, as some like to call it. I use an anti acid medication occasionally for my heartburn, but I only have 2 chewable tablets left. I've been anxious about not having been able to find more of it. Next thing I know, my grocery store has 3 of them! They are ridiculously expensive ($24.99/each!), but I bought 2, I just couldn't pass the opportunity. I thought 3 would've been a bit too much :P My favorite yogurt, Fage 0% was also on sale, 10/$10!! Normally they are $1.99 each! :O I also got a self check-out register, that didn't talk! It's one of my biggest pet peeves, those machines. Annoys the heck out of me, listening to her telling me what to do! I was on cloud 9, so happy!

Next I decided, this happy high girl needs a manicure, so I popped into my nail salon. Generally I just talk to the owners daughter, and maybe exchange a few words with some strangers. Today however, I started a conversation with a lady, who was wearing a winter hat indoors, she felt so cold. I could relate to it and made a positive comment about it. Then we started talking, and one thing led to another... I told her I have RA, and she told me she has Sj√∂gren’s syndrome! As you may know, I'm currently looking for a new rheumatologist and it's been a big struggle. I'm very anxious about starting RA treatment via biologics or DMRAD's. So after a little bit of talking, I asked the name of her rheumatologist & she shared. She spoke highly of him and told me people from all over the country come see him. My plan was to Google him and then possibly make an appointment, too. The nail salon wasn't busy, so I stayed even though my nails were dry. We had such a great talk and it felt good to socialize for a change. I was also thinking, could it be, I was supposed to get a manicure today, so I will find the rheumatologist I'm supposed to find?

After I got my nails pretty, I came home. I was still happy and mellow, but I felt my energy level declining a bit. Throughout the day I felt the need to tell the whole world how great I felt! But as the day went on, I continued feeling guilty for feeling this good. Just goes to tell you, how bad things have been, for a day like this to feel abnormal & forbidden. Don't get me wrong, I had pains and stiffness, but it was nothing compared to what it has been for the past months. I knew this was a rare day, so I enjoyed it! I know the heavy pain and stiffness will come, but today was an incredible day for me and I'm so appreciative of it.

P.S. According to the Daily Mail post (thank you Barb), today was The Happiest Monday of the year! I can wholeheartedly agree with that!

P.S.S. After I found the rheumatologist, I learned he doesn't take my insurance! But I keep searching!

" Life's so ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence & absence to value presence. "